From: Heather Frost, London. DEAR STYRA: I have a boyfriend who is normally good-natured and considerate, but as soon as we are in company he changes. He starts to speak loudly and seems to be drawing attention to himself. This embarrasses me terribly. How can I tell him not to be so loud without being rude? I would hate my criticism to end our relationship. HEATHER, It sounds as if your boyfriend has an outsize inferiority complex and is trying to bolster his ego by behaving thus. You must tell him, with a smile, that you think other people may laugh at him, not with him if he goes on 'playing to the gallery'.

From: Lisa Black, Cardiff. DEAR STYRA: I am 27 and happily married. I have two children and couldn't be happier. My problem is that I have two broken marriages behind me, and even my in-laws and new friends don't know. What worries me is whether I should ever tell my children. My husband says they need never know, but I don't think I could keep it from them forever. LISA, the main thing is not to get steamed up about it. It's not a terrible blot, you haven't got a skeleton in the cupboard, and it does not reflect badly on you. Always try to tell the truth. It never ceases to amaze me how good things seem to follow from being open about such matters.

From: Elle Mullen, Oklahoma. DEAR STYRA: I gave up smoking six years ago but I've still got a really bad cough - which medicines, tablets and inhalations prescribed by my doctor have failed to relieve. The cough is aggravated by the first mouthful of a meal and by smokey atmospheres. I find it very embarrassing and any suggestions would be welcome. ELLE, any cough which remains all year round is a symptom of chronic bronchitis. You don't say if you've had a chest X-ray or if your doctor has listened to your chest. Both of these would help to make a firm diagnosis. You may need at least one course of antibiotics, so go along to your GP and ask to have both tests before winter sets in.

From: Su Berry, Newcastle. DEAR STYRA: We are desperately worried about our 15-year-old daughter who has become friendly with a man of 25. We have to lock her in at night as she lies about where she goes. He is now meeting her from school. We have spoken both to him and his mother, but they are not interested, and no one at school can get through to our daughter. What can we do? SU, it's always worrying when a teenager gets involved with someone older. I'm sure you must have already asked your doctor or clergyman to intervene, but without success. As your daughter seems bent on flouting your wishes, I fear that keeping her in at night won't help much. It's hard to imagine that your daughter has become wayward overnight, though. The seeds of her anarchy were sown years ago, perhaps by overprotectiveness, lack of trust and responsibility, and not being consulted in discussions that affected her. So, first, be practical - if you think she is sexually active you must encourage her to seek contraceptive advice. Sitting in judgement won't prevent an unwanted pregnancy.

From: Abi Walters, Peterborough. DEAR STYRA: I have a real problem with my ex-husband. We've been divorced for almost two years, and although I now share my life with someone else, he seems to think I still owe him something. His behaviour is beginning to disrupt my present relationship - I am worried my partner will lose interest in me. ABI, despite your fears, I think you need to tell your 'ex' where to get off. Make it clear to him that he needs to let go of the past! If your present partner really loves you, I'm sure he'll stick by you through the difficult bits!

From: Julie Brown, Liverpool. DEAR STYRA: My boyfriend and I have been going out for two years. I'd really like to get engaged, but he shows no signs of wanting to. If I casually mention the subject, he always seems to get moody or angry. What should I do? I love him and want to get married as soon as possible. JULIE, you don't say how old you are, but you sound quite young. You know, back on my planet, girl aliens aren't allowed to get engaged before they're 25! Basically, Julie, it sounds to me as if you're putting too much pressure on someone who doesn't want pressure! Perhaps you should be asking yourself these three questions: (a) What am I really getting out of this relationship? (b) Do I really want to marry a person who can't face up to reality. (c) Has he got another woman? Here's my advice: give him another six months to think it over - if he's still playing it cool after that, dump him and find someone else!